You know a server sucks when it's estimated downtime has downtime

<matematyk> kocham Cię
<dziewczyna> udowodnij!
<matematyk> niech V będzie dowolną przestrzenią liniową n-tego stopnia (...)

„If C gives you enough rope to hang yourself, think of Subversion as of rope storage facility” Brian W. Fitzpatrick

z http://www.openbsd.org/cgi-bin/cvsweb/src/sbin/shutdown/shutdown.c?annotate=1.36 (linia 93):
void __dead die_you_gravy_sucking_pig_dog(void);

Jak informatyk rzuca klątwe?
while (true) fuck_you

<znalezione w Win2000>
//This thunk implements the undocumented Win3.0 and Win3.1 API
//To implement this undocumented API we will use the NT undocumented API
(...)
// Ah, the life of the undocumented. The documentation says
// that this guys does not validate, colors, act as a delimiter
// and fills with spaces. Wrong. It does validate the color.
// As such its a delimiter. If...

phonon-xine is dead. really dead. super dead. please do not bring it up phonon-xine is a dead horse. it really is. any attempts to use phonon-xine will result in it eating all your c̰͕͈h͍̘̠͊̏̕e͉̿͛́̏ͭe̝̣̰̘ͅş͖̠͇̦̰̭̍ͯ̌̐eͨ̾҉̝͕̲̖.͔̘̜̳͇͇̓̑̆ͣ̓͒ͮ. no bugs are being fixedf͛͊̂̍ͭͫͩ͝͏̫̙̫̤o̷̘͚̽̐͌̆ͧ̀̈͠r̯̹͕̬͗̒ ̜̹͓̼̰̱̮̀̎͋̿̚p̩̬̖̖̮ͥ́͘h̅ͯ̿̍̅̇͘͏̵̩̭̺̫̣͕̲̪o̢̺̟̣̖͓̦̘̿̆̅ͤ̂̈̀n̤͔̟̞̖͈̜͙ͬ͋ͪ̈͊ͦ̈́͒͞ǫ̤͎̮̬̌̀n̖̯̙ͩͨ͜-̧̦͉̦̳̻̬͎̎̐̃ͣͪͧ̒̕͠x̯̼͙̞ͭ̍͊ͪ̇̀͢į̸̱̤͉̼̖͔̹̇̋̕n͗̀͏̺͈̰̪̲͕e̗̬̰̙̥ͦͣͪ̌ͭͥͅ.̭̠̘͋̇ͤ ̝͈̳͕ͤ̍͊̋̎̋͂p̞̜̤̆̇ͫ̎͝͡h̿ͥ҉̯ͅȯ̓ͥ͏̴̨̝͔ṅ̵͉̞̞͎͠ō̠͇̻̱n̸̷̼̦̼̻͓̥̝͎̓̑͋̌-̛̥̙̘͎̟̪̬̳̓̾̂̌ͅẍ̷̝̺͕̺͔́̓̇̉ͫ̽̌̌̽i͈̦̤̮̺̰̦̿̌ͦ̓̎̽́͟ine needs more developers ,̮͈̖̝ͤ͊͊ͭ̀̀͡b̧̢̰̬͚͉̯̦̟ͦͨ̀͐ǘ̷̻̥ͭ̉ͯ͜͡ͅţ͋ͤ͗ͥͧͦ̓ͦ̕҉̗̞̞͙͔͍̬ ̧̨̢͉̮͆͌̇x̣͖ͤ̍ͥͦ̈̉͟i͓̩̪̫̦͖͕̋ͨ͗́ͥ̑͗͝ͅn̢͉͉̱̑ͪě̗̮͈̯̜̳̜̎̋ͮ̽̒ͨ͢͡ͅ ̧̝͈͇͙̗̩̤͓́ͮ̆̍ͭ͋͟ṵ̴͔͈̮͒ͧ̅̉͛͋̎͞p̡̖̖̊̈͋ͫ͒ͯͤs̟̫̩̣̟̟͉͐̽̈́͊͗ͪ͜t̜̜͐ͦͫ̓̾͢r͓̳͚͂͆͗̓͢ẽ̴̮͕͖̹̪̺̾͌̏̚a͂ͣ̄ͬ̆̐̑҉̣́m͕̪͔̉ͥ͐̈̋͂͂ͬ̕ ̝͔̰̬̰̺̐ͨͪ̒̑ṅ̨̞͕̲͓̹̦̳̀̿͑͂ͭ́e̖̙̥͕ͥ̍̒̅̉ͯ̃͆͂̀̕͝ę̣̟̬͇̔ͦͬ͘͞ḍͧ̌ͨ̓̑̚ͅs̷̢̧̘̘͓͍̩̩͆ͦ͌ͪ͑ ̡͓̻̐̆͂̾̅͋̓̒͡d̡͓̞̼̪ͫͩ̆̏ḙ̵̖̻ͭͧv͔̠̖̠͔ͬ̒̃̕e̵̗͍͚̝̘̭̰̪ͯ̽̃ļ͇̝͕̩̀̿̋ͯͮ̉͋̊õ̢̲͙̼̭̺̘̠̂ͥ̆ͣͫͮ͋p̗̫̮͎̀̓̓ͯ̓ͭ̾͜͜e̸͙̺̫̙̖͛ͅŗ̯̳͈͖ͤͯ̑͂s̘̹ͥ̀̄̋͜͢ ͈͓͚ͪ̍ͯ̓̔̉̽̾́f̻̳̺̗̮ͪ̐͆ͩ͛̒̑̍ͤị̟̮͖̭̭̐̌̏ͭr̛͙̮̱͉̽͊͛͂ͫs̷͎̰͔̪ͦ̾̽͢ţ̢̖̻ͭͩ͗͑̂.̷͎͈̪̘̳̥̭ͤ̋̑́͒͆̿͟ ̧͙͉̘̘̒̿ͪͨ̇̐͒̀p̰̩̦̩̰͍͗̂̈͌̅ͫ̉̐͜͡ͅĥ̫̯̗̺̥̰̐ͭ͛̓͆̒o͎̣̯͇ͮ̃̔̏̉ͭ̑͌͢nͥͥ̀҉͚̙̙͎̭͖̦̩o͖͇ͭ̎͐͠͡ń͒ͣͯ͑͏̬̗̩̭̖͚̱-̟̹̼͇̣̘̥̙ͭ̎̌͋͒̚x̴͙͔̲̜͔̰͕̩͑͋̉̉̐̏̓̀̕į̙̒̓ͥ̀̚ṅ̨̡̼̊ͨ̍̀̚e̟̖̟̜̹͚ͫͫͫͬ̇ͣ̽͘͠ͅ ̛̩̩͔͉̻̬̤ͦ́͌ͯ͗͛̂ͤ̓͜į̸̯̤̘͚̹̮͌̾͛̒ͩ͛̑̍s̗͑͆̕ ̩̦̤̏ͯd̢̜̝̗̳̘̪̒̾̀̔̿ͅe̲̐͑̏̔ͅã̼̭̮̺͍̫̔̉͞ͅd͈̥̜̜̜̦ͭͤ́̍̽̂ ̿̃̊̿̚҉͙̥͚̭ͅa̬͈̋͑̆̊͗͆͟n͖̜̣̳̊͟d͐̚͜͏̺͙̰̜͔̫ͅ ̿̑̉̑͏͏͎͇̭͖͇̼̜̖̖h̢̝͔͋͂ͬ̔̐̚͞ả̠̟̭̣̮̳͎̋̏s̺͉͕̯̼̖̩͔̓̓̀ ̸ͬͤ͒ͯͧ̎͌̇͏̰̪̬͓͙̲̀n̮̬̙̎͒o̟̪̲̫̲̙̩̖̝ͧͤͩͨ̎̃ͨ̈́͐́͞ ̛͇̣̫̻̯̠̟̬̐͗̂͆i̫̻͖ͩ͊ͯͯ͌ͨ͂ͤ́͡m̵̶̭̞̟̟̦̯̎͆͋̾͑̄̄ͭͅm̮̄̓͘͜e̴̶̜̪̭͂̾̑ͧ̓ͬ͂ͤd̷͇̗͐̊ͥ̂͠ͅͅi̛̔̈́ͭ̈́ͬ̈͌̕͏̗̮͖͚̫a̻͈̜͚͛̆̄̏̿́͜͢t̗̻̓̿̇̔̀e̸̠͚̯̭̼̜͉̪ͪ̄͆̔̐̔ͪ̀ ͍͈͍̻͇̂̓ͭͤ͊ͨ̀͡p̴͕͕̝̪̯̍ͣ͟l̴̞̳̱̙̼͍ͬ̍̈́̌̍̎͐̌͗͡a̾̃͋ͬ҉̫̬̯̱ň̏̉̈́ͮ̉҉̮̳͎̤̖̻̜ś̩̥̜̩́ͩ͡ ̡͉͕̬̘̘ͦ̌͋̄ͤͅő̲͍̪̞̒̎̓̔̓n̴̪̜̈̉ͬ̿̇̅ ̵̛̠͈̙̜̼͈̣ͯ̌͋̂r̳̥͕ͯ̎͗͛ͩ̾͢e̳̱̙̤ͧ̎͌ș̩ͬ͆̂ͩͮ̓̇̓̍s̭̬̪͈̅ͮ͠ṵ̸͔̖̲̦̣̤̦͛ͦͫ̉̐̈́́r̢̮̳̙͋̂̅ͭ̌̏͞ĕ͕͍̇͐͢c̷͇͊ͫͮ͑̽͒͐̔͞t̖͂̏͘i̫͔̓̒̋́óͭ͌ͨ̚͏̭̳̞̻̟͍̦n̨̡͈̺̠͇͍͋̿̎̊̕.̗͕ͬ̎́͟͡

Mad_Dud: top - 19:51:04 up 2 days, 49 min,  2 users,  load average: 0.24, 0.79, 0.78
Mad_Dud: Tasks: 183 total,  2 running, 178 sleeping,  0 stopped,  3 zombie
Mad_Dud: 3 zombie
Mad_Dud: eva knows it's haloween today :-p

4 zasada dynamiki: ciało raz puszczone w ruch, dalej puszcza się samo.

Formuła w excelu
=JEŻELI(ORAZ(JEŻELI(FRAGMENT.TEKSTU(F13;1;2) ="7.";PRAWDA;FAŁSZ); JEŻELI(CZY.BŁĄD(SZUKAJ.TEKST("koszalin";LITERY.MAŁE(E13);1))=PRAWDA;FAŁSZ;PRAWDA))=PRAWDA;1;0)

"Now let me see," the Golux said. "If you can touch the clocks and never start them, then you can start the clocks and never touch them. That's logic, as I know and use it...."
-- James Thurber, "The 13 Clocks"

<k>S.O.A. - Sells Oriented Acronym

RoboCop was a man subclassed and extended.

How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been
changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

2 to call for an exact make and model of the light bulb, including model
number and serial numbers and wattages before they give any further
information.

7 to insist that they are professional light bulb changers. They will
caution about the dangers of ignorant home owners changing light bulbs

2 (a different two, by the way) to say "blow me" as their only contribution.

3 to reccomend that the home owner call a professional electrician, which
will be much more effective in the long run, instead of just throwing parts
at it.

4 to call the 7 professional light bulb changers racists and bigots for
trying to talk down to poor, disadvantaged home owners.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light
bulbs

37 to flame the first three who replied because they top posted.

42 to reply (on top of the post) that top posting is just fine

53 to flame the spell checkers

6 posters to insist that the wiring is far too small, and that the H.O. is
at risk of fire.

1 to insist that the correct way to remove a light bulb is with a 20 ounce
waffle face framing hammer

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

29 to ask the flamers to at least trim the excess text before posting

52 flamers to send all headers, footers, and chicken scratches back with
rude remarks about people who want to tell them what to do.

2 to send all headers, footers, and such back with the comment "BLOW ME".

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" or "Lite-Bulb"

6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 (same two) to say "BLOW ME" again

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is
"lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take
this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and
lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers, chicken scratches, and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions
about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again

Twoją starą rozpinają wektory zerowe.